Irrational Thoughts: The Shoulds

Let's talk about something that I know you have probably been guilty of doing and that is ”should” all over yourself.

You know you have done it at least once in your life time...the ”I should have___, ” go ahead and fill in the blank or ”he or she should do ___, ” fill in the blank again.

We toss the word ”should” around like it's free candy, but the truth is ”should” is just another irrational belief that sets you up to having some problematic thinking.

Specifically, the word ”should” tends to be ”rules” you have on how you and others are expected to act. When these unspoken rules or expectations are broken we become upset.

So maybe instead of making something an expectation we can make it into a preference.

I would prefer if my two-year-old didn't wake up at 4:30 a.m. Instead of my two year old should sleep until at least 6 a.m.

Take some time this week and pay attention to how often you find yourself using the word ”should.” When you do, go ahead and change your expectation to a preference and see how that gradually starts changing your thoughts and overall mood.

Progress not Perfection!