Connection: Tantrums

Let's talk about tantrums or what I often refer to as ”strong emotions.” There are a few key points I have learned and would love to share them with you when it comes to tantrums (no matter the age): ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

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Point 1: If experiencing a tantrum note that this is not the time to explain or lecture. At this point, their fight or flight response has been activated and will not be able to receive or retain the information you are trying to provide them with. Discipline requires that they are receptive, if activated they are not receptive to learning (physicaly not capable...literaly not in the right frame of mind to learn what you are trying to teach them). ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

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Point 2: Connection is key. This is when they need to know we are there for them the most.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

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Being there does not mean you give in to their want or misbehavior. It does mean that you understand he/she is upset and will be there for them through that emotion. You can still connect while setting limits.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

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Most importantly connection deepens the bond between the two of you.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

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Point 3: Label the emotion. I see you are angry, upset, disappointed, hurt etc. Labeling the emotion helps diffuse the physiological reactivity. Give it a try next time you feel a strong emotion. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

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I know tantrums are never fun for anyone involved and it's not easy keeping all these points in mind, especially when you yourself are stressed out and dysregulated (that's another post). ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

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Be kind to yourself. We are all humans and don't get everything perfect. Remember progress, not perfection. You can always reconnect if you miss the mark the first time.